Dear...
Have you had your dinner?
Have you settled down?
I just had mine...
Sorry for not posting anything much today...
A lot of things went through my mind today ever since I got the medical report...
How should I describe it? Devastated, lost, fear, scared, helpless, demoralized...
I guess by now you should know what is happening to me...
I'm lost of words for what it has turned out to be...
A mixed of feelings and emotions like a roller coaster ride...
But one thing for sure, I'm afraid to close my eyes at night no matter how tired I am...
Afraid that once I close my eyes, I will never wake up again...
Afraid that today will be the last time I'll ever see you again...
Afraid that everything will be lost forever...
But I couldn't blame it on anyone else but myself...
I've brought myself upon it...
Remember the vow I've made that if you are upset or hurt because of me, I shall be throned with punishments
I've got what I've deserved and it's the worst feeling I've ever felt in my life...
And I'm really and truly sorry for everything...
It's getting late and it's been a busy and hectic day...
I'm off to bed...
You to get some early rest ok?
Sleep tight and good night...
